Speeding to nowhere .... traffic and driving in the Gulf

Reader Warning: THis post is a hyperbole, do not try this at home/use only under parental supervision/ask your parents permission before calling/do not operate heavy machinery after reading this post/ the opinions expressed in this blog do not necessarily reflect those of blogspot/google/or bettty crocker

Ok, I‘ve been here about a two weeks. In this time I’ve traveled around by car quite a bit. First by taxi and chauffeur, and then by a rented car (which I and three other teachers split. We can’t actually buy one until we get our residency visas which are being processed). Today I took the car after work to Muscat, the capitol city, where I bought a new charger for my computer. This wild journey on the roads of the Middle East my ‘back broke’. I couldn’t take it any more. I must faithfully report to you the true cluster-fuck that is the driving experience in the Middle East. This is going to take a little explaining because there are many different factors at play here so try and keep up… First and foremost, driving around here is a harrowing experience, not for the faint of heart. This is due to several different reasons. It is truly an orchestra of madness and I am dashing around this cacophony like a lost grace note, trying to keep up in all the confusing mosh and discordance.
What you need to understand is first the logistics of this whole mess. The Middle East is a big place… really big and spread out. This being the case, there’s a lot of cars and a lot of driving. There is no public transportation system, so everyone basically needs a car. This is ‘OK’ due to the fact that lots of people have money, cars are relatively inexpensive here, and you can fill up a swimming pool with Gas for about the same price as a half a talk of petrol back in the States. Another thing you have to have a hold of is the concept of ‘public civility’ here. People are really nice, really polite and play by the rules of congeniality… all the time. Everything has to do with image and how you are supposed to act. So there’s a lot of pressure boiling on the inside of your average Arab. A pressure that often gets released when we are in our cars, in control, on the move, masters of our own roadway destiny. So, when people are walking about, they are bound by the laws of the society that they live in. They do not want to appear pushy or rude, even if they really want to be deep down inside. When they get into a car, this weird transformation occurs. The change into speed hungry, four-wheeled werewolves . Your average Arab driver is a dangerous motor-powered beast in the middle of mating season, foaming at the mouth with a blood-lust sparkling in their eye and an itch on the underside of their right foot that can only be scratched by stomping it to the floor. They drive aggressively and fast. Weaving in and out of cars for no other reason than to get in front of the person who is in between them and the horizon. There are also no cops around. Traffic is monitored by ‘speed cameras’, which don’t really ‘bust’ you unless you are doing 20 Kmph. over the speed limit (it seems like more of a suggestion, like the manufacturer’s suggested retail price, than an actual legal limit). This just encourages the indulging of their horrible roadway behavior. Though it makes sense, for people who, due to the social conventions and homogenizing effects of their outward observed behior which constrict thier actions to take this all out on the road. Seriously, these are the only group of people I have seen that make the Italians look like responsible and civilized motorists. I would rather drive with a half-drunk Milanese teenager without my seatbelt on than share the road with ‘Gulfies’. The Ironic part of all this is, is that according to reports of other teachers, friends and colleagues, Omanis are very relaxed compared to the drivers in other Gulf states. Steer clear gentle reader, of ‘highway fun’ in Saudi, Bahrain, or the Emirates!!!